Landslide

For the past few weeks, I’ve been dealing with goodbyes and nice to meet yous ever since I decided to accept a principal position 3 hours from home. It’s been overwhelming, thrilling, and down right scary!

As I was listening to music on my drive up to Kansas City the other day, the remake of Landslide by the Dixie Chicks came on Pandora. Being one of my favorite songs, I was singing along when I realized that the chorus summed up all of my feelings in 5 short phrases.

Well, I’ve been afraid of changing
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too

My entire life has been about playing it safe. My anxiety has always been about keeping things as level as possible so that I can keep all of the plates spinning. Sure I’ve been “brave” over the past few years with going back to school, writing and presenting, and going into administration, but those chances kept everything at home pretty level. I could do those things because I felt like it only changed MY day to day. I always knew I had a safety net waiting for me at home.

As a child of divorce, my marriage and my relationship with David has always been front and center. I will admit that there have been many choices made because I was worried about the unknown consequences that may hurt our relationship. I’ve always worried that one of my decisions would be like knocking down the first domino in a domino train. However, from the moment I was offered this opportunity, I knew in my gut that this was the right move for me. This was the first time I was truly being bold.

All that being said, there are still many moments where I worry. It’s just where my mind goes and I think that is natural with a move. But, it’s time for that to change. Instead of worrying, I’m going to focus on my hopes and pray that these all come true:

• I hope that when my kids look back at this time in their life, they will see that their mother did what she thought was best and that they learned how to be a little more brave because of me.
• I hope that my husband is proud and impressed with my willingness to take the biggest chance I’ve taken since we’ve been married. He’s my biggest supporter and making him proud is always important to me.
• I hope that this experience will enrich our lives in ways we didn’t think possible.
• I hope that I have an impact on my new school and that I build lifetime relationships with those I work with.
• And, finally, I hope that I grow as a mother, wife, friend, and educator over the next year.

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The Road Less Traveled

So many times, educators' efforts are geared towards getting students college ready because we know that this has been declared the industry standard of excellence for schools. However, now there is a new line of thinking that challenges this notion by asking what does post secondary success really looks like?

As a principal and a mom of four, it has just been assumed that all of my kids would attend college, obtain a degree, and move on to bigger and better things that don’t require my financial assistance. In fact, my sons have already started this path and have completed their junior and freshman years of college at Wichita State University.

Life was going as planned.

On Memorial Day, Camren, my 19-year-old son, came to my husband and I and told us that he wanted to join the Air National Guard. He said that he didn’t like taking classes that were not in his field of interest and he felt restless and wanted to take an alternative path. He then explained that he was confident he would test well and qualify for a path in computer science through the ANG. He continued with all of the pros for this decision and it was clear that he had done his research and that this was something he had truly thought about for awhile.

David and I’s initial reaction was shock. Here is a kid who graduated high school with a 3.6 GPA, a composite score of 28 on his ACT, and who had scholarship offers telling us he didn’t want to go to college at this time. This was our kid who made school and testing look like a breeze. This was our kid who just “got” whatever you put in front of him at school. This was not our kid who we thought would take a alternative route.

Even so, as he talked with us, I have to admit that I had never seen Camren more motivated or excited about the possibilities. All I could do is look at my husband and say, “He’s 19 years old. It’s his choice. All we can do is support him.”

I know I’ve preached this to anyone that would hear it for the past couple of years, but success isn’t just a 4-year degree. Success is knowing what you want and taking a road that is meaningful for you. As I watch Camren do his research and prepare for what’s ahead, I can’t help but be proud of him. He’s engaged in his path and it’s breathtaking to watch.

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