Finding Connections

Almost two weeks ago, I had to take an hour and 20 minute Uber ride in Chicago. I sat in the front seat with the driver who happened to be from Nigeria. I learned that this was his side gig because he also worked as a nurse at a nursing home. We immediately started to talk about his profession because I had just left my father-in-law, Bill, at the hospital under hospice care.

As we talked, our conversation went from nursing, to religion, education, parenting, and finally to politics, I learned that he had lived in Italy, France and Russia and that he is the father of a 15 year old son and 12 year old twin girls. Also, he and his wife have been married as long as David and I. 

I asked him a million questions and he just rolled with it. He was well educated, funny, and kind.

At the end of the ride, I almost felt like I should give him a hug goodbye. There was something about that connection that just meant the world to me. Just two people from two very different backgrounds who shared so many of the same thoughts and feelings about what was most important in life. How powerful is that?

My point to all of this? Take time to connect with those around you. Drop the judgments about who you think this person is and be curious about them instead. Its amazing what lessons you will walk away with from a simple conversation. #INspiredLeadership

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Collateral Beauty

Seven weeks ago, I got the call I had hoped wouldn’t come. My father-in-law had been diagnosed with colon cancer and it had spread to his liver. Initially, they believed he would have 1-5 years. After further testing, it was clear to the doctors that it was simply too late. So, we called in hospice, surrounded Bill with love, and prayed that he would be comfortable.

Sadly, he was gone in just 6 short weeks.  To say that we are devastated wouldn’t even begin to cover it.

Today, my daughter showed me this quote from the movie Collateral Beauty:

If you haven’t seen the movie, the message is that even through death, there is beauty. I think I understand that message so much more deeply now.

Over the past 7 weeks, I have witnessed countless examples of collateral beauty. Here are a few that stand out the most to me:

• I watched my husband and Bill grow closer over the last year as they seeked answers. And when the answer wasn't the one they had hoped for, they were able to lean into to one another.
• I watched my sons, Braden and Camren, step up and take care of their grandfather with love and compassion. Our sons are amazing young men.
• I witnessed my daughters, Addison and Ryleigh, be brave through their tears. They loved their Papa dearly and they didn’t care how ill he became. They just wanted to be near him until the end.
• We laughed at old times and recalled how he always said he was "280 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal!"
• Our friends supported us through this journey with prayers, texts, visits and phone calls.
• My staff stepped up and made sure I knew that they could handle anything that came their way so I could spend the last few days in the hospital.
• And when I got the news that he had passed, I had my Moms who were able to give me a hug, let me pretend nothing was wrong, and then listen to me when I was ready to talk. It was exactly what I needed.

Bill was a charming man who could make anyone laugh with his humor. He was one of a kind and he will forever be missed. As we move towards Christmas, I know there will be more tough moments to come. But, I will also keep an eye out for all the beauty around us.

“If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.”

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